The Fear of Striking Out
Updated: 7 days ago
One year. I c.a.n.n.o.t. believe it has been one full year since I apprehensively pressed the no-turning-back “publish” button. With hands shaking. After having abandoned my writing for nearly three years. While shamefully and exhaustedly pushing through each day, quietly battling something that I had let completely rule my life. Opening the doors to my innermost thoughts and feelings. About my battle with anxiety. And the chokehold it had on my life. In an attempt to encourage others in their own personal struggles.
The decision to revamp and restart this little nest was actually not a well thought-out move (surprising, huh?!). In fact, just the opposite, sweet friends. The push came to me very quickly. On a rainy and gloomy middle-of-spring-break day. In the midst of some serious reflection and prayer. About just how much of my existence was being spent in fear. And without faith. Stealing my joy. Shielding my perspective from all the beauty encompassing my life. A very difficult and tearful realization to confront.
I can’t really explain the feelings that surged through me that day, while writing that very first post. Tears. Excitement. Renewed energy. Refreshed passion. And yet, still lingering around? The one feeling I was trying to fervently to eliminate altogether…f.e.a.r. And as I finished rereading my initial words that I wanted to share, those dreaded “what-ifs” started flooding in…
~What if no one cares?
~What if those who read make me feel worse about myself and sharing?
~What if no one decides to read?
~What if I strike out? Fall flat on my face? Fail? In front of everyone?
Goodness, those were some legitimate, in-my-face fears. But you want to know something, beautiful souls? There was a feeling even more present and intimidating than those worries of failing myself…failing those whispers in my ear. The ones brought front-and-center through prayer. The ones I just simply couldn’t ignore. For fear of disappointing the m.o.s.t. important presence in my life. And that’s just not something I could handle.
Sure, I could have played it “safe”, true-to-my-personality; but something Greater was urging me to be a little daring. To go for it. To come face-to-face with that lingering fear of striking out. And step up to play the game. From the inside-out. With my thumping-out-of-my-chest heart.
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” (~Babe Ruth)
I am in awe of how much this little nest has grown. In awe of how far my writing has traveled. In awe of how much I have taught myself. About blogging. Technology. Bettering my words and messages. And most importantly of all; in awe of your constant support and sweet, reassuring comments and messages. None of this would be possible without the Grace of God. And your unconditional support. So, thank you, incredible friends. From the very bottom of this inspired mama’s heart and soul; thank you.
As for the future of my little escape? I am excited. Beyond so. For continued growth. Working to find ways to share my writing with even more friends. Seeking continuous guidance in conversation with Him. Each day. Asking for His hand in maintaining the guidance that I so completely need. Helping with the words and messages of inspiration that He desires for me to share with others.
What about you, beautiful soul? Is the fear of striking out holding you back from your own dreams and passions? I recently posted about just this very thought. And believe me, it is n.e.v.e.r. too late to chase after your unveiled passion. Although a constant work-in-progress, I am also living proof. That it’s never to late to take the next step in achieving those aspirations. And I am so happy to be that example for others.
Check back soon, sweet friends. As time permits, I hope to use this week to celebrate! A fun give-away is in the works, along with hosting my first blogging link-up “Meaningful Moments” on Thursday, revamping sponsorship opportunities and more! More than anything, your prayers, support and sharing my words with others are what fill my heart fuller than any other act of encouragement. <3