I didn’t get to sleep in. My little five-AM
wake-up call doesn’t have a snooze button.
I didn’t have a day without arguing or tears.
Little emotions simply cannot be bottled up.
I didn’t have a chore-less day. Diapers still
needed changing, hair brushed, feelings
calmed and tiny teeth brushed.
I didn't have a day at the salon, or at night away.
I had a day filled with couch cuddles and photo
slide-shows, overflowing with memories.
You see, today was the epitome of motherhood.
Because, motherhood? It was never meant to uphold a lifestyle of glamour and glitz. Or pats-on-the-back and endless "thank-you" whispers.
No, sweet mamas.
Instead, it’s grace.
And the everyday wins.
It’s matching socks.
And no tears at preschool.
It’s wearing stains.
And putting yourself in last place.
It’s everything opposite of selfish.
And everything surrounding selfless.
It’s days of serving as a punching bag.
And absorbing all the hurt in their worlds.
It’s nights of absolutely no sleep.
Because you are too scared not to watch
her fight and breathe.
It’s forgotten sports uniforms in the washer.
And cereal for dinner.
It’s bedtime far past bedtime.
And the lost art of sleeping in.
It’s learning to become everything you never planned to be.
Doctor. Teacher. Nurse. Coach. Counselor.
And sacrificing everything you had planned to become.
It’s promising yourself tomorrow’s a new day.
And forgetting the new day is already here,
as you finally pull the covers over your weary
body past the clock's nudging reminder.
It’s physical aches and pains.
And pushing mental boundaries off the chart.
It’s worry and panic when you realize he’s missed curfew.
And literally feeling your heart break as her first love cracks hers.
It’s losing your breath.
And swallowing your pride.
It’s producing more tears than you
thought your body was capable of.
And realizing incredible strength you
never knew you have within you.
It’s missing the mark.
And blowing expectations out of the water.
It’s meeting her at the finish line.
And meeting him in his failure.
It’s saying "no".
And screaming "yes".
It’s setting boundaries.
And bending at the borders.
It’s unconditional giving.
And limitless sacrifice.
It’s hearing all the advice.
And still going with your gut.
It’s going it alone.
And working with your village.
It’s cold coffee, closet chocolate
and hidden tears.
And closing your eyes when
no one else is looking.
It’s two-inch roots.
And five-year-old jeans.
It’s packing up her baby clothes
to put away for her children.
And reminding him he will
always be your baby.
It's not always having the
words to say. Yet, always
knowing how to give the
warmest, silent embrace.
Today may not have been a dream
wrapped up in a sparkling bow.
But one day?
I am going to crave these cries.
I am going to yearn for these cuddles.
I am going to miss this so much my heart will break.
This is Mother's Day.
It may be nothing more than ordinary.
But still filled with a love, beyond-extraordinary.
Above all, it's the most beautiful reminder
that motherhood is nothing short of meeting
Him at the crossroad of glorious, messy,
chaotic, forgiveness and grace. And knowing,
never for once, have you ever been alone.